If I had a choice, I would be an “expert” on how the brain works, American history or songs from the 70’s. Unfortunately, I have just a little knowledge of those interesting topics. I do however have experience in losing a child to cancer, not a topic anyone would ever sign up to learn about. But, as we all learn in life we don’t get to choose what happens to us, we only get to choose how we respond to what happens to us.
Even though we were living through our darkest time, I think our family did a lot of things well as we journeyed with Michael through his cancer treatment and into his final days. We had support and guidance from some amazing people so that those unimaginable final days as a family were also filled with love and comfort.
Reading some social media posts from families walking this awful childhood cancer journey made me want to share some of the things we did to help Michael transition into what he liked to refer to as his “next great adventure”. My hope is that other families will find some comfort and even some joy in these suggestions. I know to this day, when I need a boost of strength I reach for the small chain of Michael’s beads of courage that he shared with me and I become filled with his courage and spirit. I see the mold of our hands entwined on my bookshelf and I smile.
These are little things, but powerful in the way they fill the Mikey-sized hole in my heart that appears on certain days and with certain experiences. And I am grateful for these touchstones that connect me with my sweet boy.
So, I’ve made a list that I share here today. I ask that if you know someone facing those final weeks with their child, please share this list with them. They may find one or two that resonates with them and their child and it may just be a salve to soothe some of the pain and heartache they are enduring.
Obviously, this is an incomplete list and I would love for you to add your ideas and experiences to help families enduring the unimaginable.
